AUGUST 2006
Author: Neil Mckean and Andy G
Hi folks, just back from a very tiring weekend, and after
13 hours sleep to recover, I thought I had better get a thread written before I
forget the best bits. Basically, the weekend involved a Walshy day, a wild night
out, a BBQ, party, and another wild night out, and a last minute addition of a
Cadwell park trackday.
This might seem a kind of weird report; all my words are in normal text, all
Andy G's additional comments are in bold. There will be video's to add at some
point as well.
Let the story telling begin.
THURSDAY
I left work at 5pm for the drive south. Traffic at Edinburgh was terrible but
eventually met Andy at Soutra on the A68 at 6pm. Plan of action was to get to
North Weald travel lodge as quickly as possibly, hopefully before last orders.
Set of down the A68 all the way to Darlington at roughly 100 tuts. More traffic
on the A1 slowed us down and we didn't make last orders.
5.45, and Mckean has yet to pitch up. Clearly the Honda was not getting enough
"Rough Love". 6pm and we are good to go, sithing down the A68, with an
appropriate turn of pace. Once we joined the motorway, things were dull but
amusing, with McKean trying to "educate" every individual on the road guilty of
lack of lane discipline. Headed straight to chez Walsh, to discover lights off,
and then set off to find the hotel. McKean however, managed to find a curb, a
hedge and a ford (of the river variety). Slightly lost for a bit, arrived at the
hotel shattered!
HOURS OF SLEEP: 6
HOURS OF ROUGH LOVE: 6
HOURS OF DRINKING: 0
FRIDAY
Woke up to soaking wet roads but the sun was out, so was all set to dry up.
Breakfast was consumed, then I helped Andy to fix his car. Made it to north
weald for our 2 person training day. Walshy was on top form, dishing out the
rough love to both of our poor cars. After the day with Walshy, the term of
rough love (meaning hard driving of cars) was thought up. I went over all the
techniques that I had learnt previously, then concentrated on left foot braking,
right foot accelerating at the same time to control the pitch and angle of
the car. I eventually got the hang of it, but I still need a bit more practise
before I attempt Duffus at 100mph .
After the training was finished, we headed out for the night. Nice meal, a few
drinks and a shed load of banter. Lots of stories that I'd love to share, but
they will go to my grave with me I'm afraid. Highlights for me, if you can call
them that, were losing 50 quid in 20 minutes in a rigged drinking game, and
accidentally dropping Walshy on his face. I cut up his cheek and eye, then had
the audacity to trip over him, and drop 16 stones of me on him, just to finish
him off. I then spent the next 2 hours trying to talk him down from an
aggressive state, which would have resulted in certain death for me.
Stared the day by loosing an ECU clip in the engine bay! FFS what a tool. Still
we got more fuel and made it to North Weald. Walshy appears to demonstrate his
usual cone manoeuvring skills with the Elise, and apologises for not being an
entertaining as usual due to a throttle sticking issue! Left foot braking,
combined with accelerating and a manner of other "black magic" techniques later
we're having fun. We do the circuit before lunch….its official, Walshy has made
me slower, due to my inability to drive in a straight line. The Toyo's are
discovering the definition of rough love. At the end of my laps Walshy says,
"normally I ask people if they enjoyed that. You didn't stop laughing from the
moment you slid it round the first corner!"
Another "moment" occurs when at 90mph, one of the front sections (that hide the
fuse box) takes to flight a good 30ft in to the air, after hitting the
windscreen! Has a few war wounds on it……..oops……
Still, one plus point, was while power sliding I manage to eject the lost ECU
clip from the engine bay!
Off to Sinclaires after, then dinner, then its gets very messy, then Walshy
charms a lesbian! A tremendous night, many a story and plan, and then we start
to punish Mckean for his lack of pace on the beers! Mckeans new found boozing
comes back to haunt Walshy, as the apes falls on him, cutting his cheek….rough
love was meant to be reserved for the cars, not Walshy!
I awake to find myself on a sofa missing some chest hair…………….and McApe has gone
MIA.
HOURS OF SLEEP: 6
HOURS OF ROUGH LOVE: 8
HOURS OF DRINKING: 10
SATURDAY
After the previous nights wild entertainment, a reasonably long lie to 12pm was
required. Unfortunately for Walshy this meant a parking ticket for the car he
had deserted in town the night before. Grabbed breakfast (at 2pm), changed brake
pads, and got ready to head to Birmingham for a BBQ and a party at Andy's friend
Mossy. Before leaving, it was decided that we would attend a track day at
Cadwell Park the next day with Walshy and Emma. Just before we booked it, Andy
remembered he hadn't brought his driving license. Another plan was hatched to
borrow someone else's paper copy license, and for Andy G to pretend to be Tony
Jenkins, a 6'5" black man from Jamaica
Anyway, with track day booked, a license suitably borrowed, we left Walshy and
Emma, and headed off to Brum for a BBQ. Good time again, and after the BBQ and
party we headed off into Brum city centre with the best of intentions to be in
bed before midnight. As you can see from the summary at the bottom, the plan
didn't exactly go to plan, and we crawled into bed just after 4am, discussing
whether we should set the alarm for 5.45am or 5.50am. OH DEAR. Highlights off
the night for me were chatting up the dirtiest slag I have ever met (who told an
interesting story about cock rings that had all the men listening, before
proclaiming she had the twat of a twelve year old) anyways, it was all just eye
candy for me, as I was being on my best behaviour.
Enthusiasm overtakes sense, and we decide what we really need to do is Cadwell,
temporarily forgetting about the party in Birmingham we're heading for. Realise
I don't have a license, and decide we can wing it. As we sober up, realise what
we have done! Also, I've booked in as a black chap called Tony who's a brummy……surely
they will never notice.
Mckean decides he's the route master and sets of for Birmingham with me in tow.
More re-education for breakers of lane discipline, and a healthy amount of 3
figure tutting later, we're in Birmingham.
What follows was an experience. Mckean decides to chat up the "cock-ring story"
girl (Emma) and in a taxi of 5 guys later proclaims to have a twat as tight as a
5 year old….classy lady. After watching Mossy demonstrate dance moves to rival a
young Michael Jackson, and being in pain from laughing too hard I obtain a
license, and we head for the hotel. That'll be 2 hours of kipping then……….
HOURS OF SLEEP: 2
HOURS OF ROUGH LOVE: 4
HOURS OF DRINKING: 10
SUNDAY
After the best 2 hours sleep I have ever had (not) we awoke, not looking forward
to the drive cross country to Cadwell. Brum council's road department and police
force did there best to thwart our efforts, by closing the nearest motorway
junction, diverting as approx 15 miles to the next one, then the police force
closed that junction. Thanks folks. We eventually got on route again, and I
decided that a cruising speed of circa 120 tuts was required to get us to
Cadwell in time for the briefing. The journey went well until popping over a
crest of a hill on the A46 where we saw the tarmac change from a lovely porous
road surface, to concrete, and a 1 mile long water logged section. We both made
it out the other end of the
puddle and continued on our way to Cadwell. No doubt our new found Walshy
skills, and alert, well rested bodies saved our lives. Oh. Never mind.
Cadwell park track day was amazing. Started off damp again, but dried up in the
first hour. Andy had a bit of a problem with licenses (I'll let him explain) but
after passing his driving test, he was allowed on. A superb day again. I dropped
my times and upped my enjoyment all day. It's a very technical track, with lots
of unseen entry's, apexes and exits, sometimes all in the same corner : Due to
the fact Walshy now couldn't see out his right eye, I actually beat his time on
track. I, therefore, will never be attending a track day again and retiring as
champion. Somehow I doubt it'll ever happen again unless he's injured.
Scalps for the day, some of which I can hopefully post video's of, included a
245bhp Ariel Atom, An R300 and R400 Caterham and a Radical 1100cc Clubsport.
The drive home was a long hard slog. I was so tired, last nights 2 hours kip
wasn't enough, and the track day had used all my energy. We were almost home,
when torrential showers decided to make things more interesting by flooding the
A68. DOH. Anyway, made it home, and now 2 new rear tyres, an oil change and some
under tray fixing is the order of today
In a coma we set off from Birmingham like scaled cats, have a moment on the
flooded bit and arrive at the track in time for sign in. Told there is no
chance, as I don't have the photocard! Still they get me to sit in on the
briefing, and although I spend most of it trying todecide what I'll do if they
don't let me on, I'm crossing my fingers!
Manage to get on, and after completing the sighting laps with Walshy in pax, I
have to take out a instructor to prove I can drive….try to behave, despite going
sideways through the first right hander (FFS), but thanks to Walshy make a
decent fist of the recovery (its still wet). We go for 3 laps and have a good
laugh, and I get shown the lines for free!
Emma is the next to suffer the pax fate, and we head off to claim some scalps.
Reel in most things on track, occasionally spy Mckean on the opposite straight,
and start learning the track. Seem to be skipping by most things apart from a
fast 7, which hits the Atom just in front of me! Still miss his nose cone, and
see our only red flay of the day. Oh, did if forget to mention that there's only
22 cars on track!
Eventually manage to get Walshy, who is still struggling to see, to take me out
in the 111r. The track gets a fright! If there was ever an experience to point
out how much the car can do when driven well this is it! Immediately, we are
closing on everything. The r400 nearly has a heart attack as we close on him
round a corner, and several other previously quick cars are left for dust! (keep
in mind the tyres are done by this stage as are the brakes!)
Wearing the comm. Helmets, Walshy can hear me giggling like a child, and starts
going even harder…….tremendous! This is rough love at its best, and the Toyo's
are now melting! Mckean and I pax with each other, and then have a few more
shots before leaving. Gutted not have have had my A048's on (and new Pagids),
but WHAT A TRACK! The video footage is being checked by Google at present!
The run home is slow, till we hit the A1 and boot it. Tut level is now rising,
and when we find a friendly Cerbera, things get a bit exciting! The A68 is
really slippy, and with both of us needing new tyres, not what we wanted when
tired. Still a few roundabouts cheer us up, and we scarper for the
bypass…….home. Cars booked in for MMC Friday, needs new tyres, new front pads,
and a few niggles sorted.
HOURS OF SLEEP: 13
HOURS OF ROUGH LOVE: 15
HOURS OF DRINKING: very much 0
Miles covered, just shy of 1300, voice has nearly gone through laughing so hard,
and I need to sleep (I only got 6 hours last night!)……………. Rough love the SE
way!